Sticks and Stones

When I started this blog I set out to share the good things and the bad things and now I’m about to share a ‘bad’ thing I hesitate… It’s hard to share when things don’t go as planned.
As some of you might know I’ve been battling a burn-out for some time now.

First I continued to work but after a while I had to stop and when I did, I started to fully comprehend how bad I was doing. Back then I wasn’t even able to do art, I wasn’t able to do much of anything.

Just recently the tax authorities got wind of me not making much money and I got invited for an appointment at their office. The burn-out had made sure I didn’t make much money of my art and couldn’t spend much time on my art either.

Because of that they ended up taking away my fiscal entrepreneurship status and they will be checking up on me in 2017.

The appointment was last week and I felt very bad after that. It took me a few days to feel better but yesterday I had a little help putting me in my place again.

The lady I had the appointment with called to run through what was said earlier and explain her findings. She repeated once again they would check up on me in 2017 and she added, because they were not very convinced any significant progress would be happening.

I’m sure the lady didn’t intend or realize it but these words felt like a right kick in the face.

But hey, ‘sticks and stones’, right?!

Secret commission

Last week I totally forgot writing a blog, sorry about that! I was really busy working on a commission that has to remain a secret for now.

So here are some hazelnuts instead ;)

These are from my 'Drawing a Day' project on my Instagram account, you can follow me at:
 https: https://instagram.com/melissa_halley/

Drawing A Day (2)

The last couple of weeks I didn’t spend any time on my larger drawings. I was back at cleaning my home (as in throwing things out) so it would be a better home studio. Almost ready.

After that I had two weeks of vacation which I spend with my boyfriend and his 4 year old son.

During this time I only did my Drawing A Day which I’m managing to do so for almost a month now.

For a large part my vacation consisted of doing things a 4 year old enjoys, mostly very active things and the boy asking a lot of attention. Perfectly normal for a 4 year old.

What I noticed was that these small drawings I did every day formed a much needed ‘me-time’. They drowned all the noise of the day and brought me back to myself.

So just in a few weeks these daily drawings changed from a daily task, or ‘should’ as Elle Luna calls them, to a daily necessity or ‘must’.

Drawing A Day from the last 9 days

Update

A day late but here is the result of a week (and a day) of my Drawing a Day project. So far so good.

I try to post all my drawings (and more) on Instagram.

You can find me at: melissa_halley

Drawing A Day (1)

March 2013 I started my Drawing A Day sketchbook. My plan was to make a small drawing every day that would take about 15 to 30 minutes. The idea was to draw every day especially when I couldn’t spend that day entirely drawing or on other art related business.

It’s also a really good way to get your drawing-juices flowing.

After a month I abandoned the sketchbook, started again and so on until the beginning of this year.

For some reason I couldn’t stick to it, every day I had more important things to do, no time and after a while I would just forget.

I got quite upset with myself that I could not even do this little 15 minute thing.

A few months ago I made a daily plan and the Drawing A Day was part of that plan but still I would somehow ‘forget’.

Until today…

Back in the blogging game!!

After a hiatus of almost 7 months I’m back in the blogging game!
Long story but I want to start out on a positive note. Last year I participated in the Lemniscaat illustration contest and I’m planning to do so again this year so here is a detailed sketch of one of the images I’m working on :)

Rorschach for Doodlers

About a month ago I stumbled upon the article ‘Rorschach Test for Doodlers’ on the website ‘Doodlers Anonymous’. The idea is simple, just spatter some ink or paint between your sketchbook pages, close it, rub it a bit and open to admire the spatter result. Most of the time your mind will turn these spots into bats, butterflies etc. The challenge is take it a step further.
So I tried and I liked doing these pages so much that for the last couple of weeks I start all my drawing days like this! Not having any control on what will happen on the pages suits me perfectly.

Here's one I did recently:

 

 

Dear diary (2)

On January 29^th I posted a blog about sketchbooks. Book By Its Cover has this wonderful page where you can have a look into artist’s sketchbooks. Very inspiring.
Nonetheless filling those sketchbooks myself keeps being a challenge. The blank page remains an obstacle. The content of the page still should be “perfect” or at least good enough for others to see. Why can’t I just let go of that? A sketchbook should be a little private place where an artist should feel total freedom to do whatever they feel like.
Why can’t I just splatter my ink all over the pages, scribble relentlessly on top of the mess? Why can’t I just experiment BIG?!
I can’t think of any other reason but fear. Fear of making ugly things, fear of losing control, fear of being found out?
How will I ever know what I’m capable of when I keep being scared? I won’t, it’s as simple as that and I had enough.

First step to overcome fear is to show you a page from my current sketchbook that I would never show without being embarrassed. It was done after a dream I had. I used ink, pencil and felt-tips. I was not happy with the result and I stopped working like this right when I started.

 
Melissa, start experimenting, start making a mess!!

Sketchbooks!!

This week is all about administration (just finished 2012, now for 2013, ugh...). So sadly enough (almost) no drawing for me. Also blogging is not very high on my 'to do-' list, I can't possibly interest you in my admin adventures.

Yesterday evening, after lots of work, I was relaxing for a bit and came across this amazing webpage. It's by a blog I follow: Book By Its Cover. They publish about beautifully designed books. Book-lovers out there go check them out!

Yesterday I found out about the category Sketchbooks. To me there is nothing more interesting and inspiring to 'spy' on my fellow artists and have a look in their sketchbooks. It's also a great push to start filling those sketchbooks myself.

Can't wait for this week to be over and start experimenting!

www.book-by-its-cover.com/sketchbooks

This is a sketchbook-page from a few years ago. I was drawing on my balcony when I little bee sat down for a rest right on my leg :)

Time to move out of the sketchbook

Then it got time to move out of the sketchbook and into the open.

Because I use Indian ink (and bistre) I like using Saunders Waterford watercolour paper. Even when the package says ‘white’ it has a creamy colour and very little grain, the latter making it perfect for detailed work.

The orchids bellow have had their blooming time and have completely dried out. The shapes they take on are very beautiful to me. Like I said before, they take on a different persona. Blooming they were all looking pretty much the same, now they are their own person.

More orchids...

During a whole month I drew (apart from a few exceptions) nothing but orchids. I was getting more and more into the details. Disappearing into the flower or drawing(?) reaching a very comfortable almost meditative state of being.

My sketchbook was starting to fill up with these wonderful creatures.

Start again!

Do you know that moment where you want to start drawing but you just can’t? I was at that moment March 2013. To overcome this problem I decided to draw what was close to me or what was literally near to me.
The orchids on my windowsill were about to bloom so I tried drawing these. I love flowers but never took the time to draw them, I thought it would bore me. From the moment I started those first lines I was hooked, I couldn’t stop!
The idea to draw the orchids throughout their blooming period came to mind. Orchids tend to bloom for very long periods of time so next to orchids I started to draw tulips, sunflowers, hollyhocks…
Doing this I noticed that I enjoyed one moment most: when a flower starts to dry out, becomes translucent in a way and takes on a whole different persona.